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I added a new category to my list titled “My Journey”. It will about my journey as a woman who prefers to date other women and the various issues I come across. A brief background on the type of relationships I’ve had in the past: I’ve only had serious relationships with both men and women. I’ve never casually dated someone or had one night stands. In other words, I’ve never slept with anyone I wasn’t serious with. If you have, hey that’s your life.
This past summer came and went as several of my high school friends finally got together. I came out to a several of them since two were already in relationships with women so I figured the others would be chill about it. Which they were. Their reaction was a mixture of surprise and acceptance. Getting that off my chest was a really good feeling but I felt like I needed to hold back. My friends and I are very touchy feely people. Heck my culture calls for heaps of physical contact; we kiss one another on the cheek to greet, we hug, we hit, we spank, etc…. So I felt like I needed to be more conscious about how I touched them in hopes they don’t take it the wrong way and think I’m flirting.
One of my friends, Hales, has been with other women and we would go to gay bars and hang out at her place sometimes. I told her I didn’t come out to one of our friends, May. May is one of my closest dearest friends but she is extremely religious.Which means she will not accept my choice to love another woman. I am the god-mother of her daughter and her family are active Christian members. What annoyed me about Hales is she wanted to kiss me in front of May so I can just come out and get it over with.Talk about insensitive!
I can understand that coming out for people is an act of conviction and a declaration of being proud of who you are, but people go through different stages to reach that point in her life. Forcing someone to do something isn’t cool to begin with. So I ceased to go out with her after our crazy rendezvous and her insensitive banter about my coming out to a friend.
I plan to finally tell May soon. Thinking about our friendship, I know May will still be there for me and still love me for who I am. If anything, I think May will try to support me even more. She may not accept certain things but I know she’ll always love me and care for me. She’s understood my struggles in life and will not abandon me just because I love another woman. I’m just not really looking forward to having that conversation with her. I also thank God that I’m not attracted to her! Because that would reaaaaaaally suck! I’d be in a huge arse shithole! My heart is better given to someone who is willing to love me in return. May is a wonderful amazing woman that I’m more than happy to call my friend.
This is why I am allergic to devout Christians. They force their ideology down your throat whether you like it or not, and all they talk about is following the bible, and not to be a good person. The means shouldn’t be the end! But let me shut up.
Good luck coming out to your friend! I hope she will become a even better support in your life when you do tell her about it!
Not all devout Christians are like that. My friend is devout but she never forced me to believe in one thing or another. I go with her family to church every now and then because I find learning about the bible very intriguing. I leave feeling very motivated and a bit of weight off my shoulders.
If you think that coming out to her suddenly may shock her, drop small hints, feed her with ideas/info. I did that to one of my friend who’s really religious, in the end she was the one asking me (I didn’t have to come out). That’s when she’s ready to accept me. If she never asked me about it even though I hinted enough, then she’s not ready. That’s what I thought hm
Hi Tin! Thanks for sharing! I think she might already know that it’s a possibility. She told me once that most of her close friends turned out to be lesbians so I doubt that coming out to her will shock her. I’ll just have to reassure her that I never felt that way toward her and hope she can be comfortable around me. I noticed that when some straight women are around lesbians they will consider they’re attraction toward them. But I know that she won’t think of me that way ever. When I tell some straight women I’m gay, they start to flirt.
I’m a full-on advocate for people’s marriages and relationships. If I feel an attraction toward someone in it, I stop seeing that person until the attraction is gone. I don’t want to be that person who feels like it’s okay to have an affair with someone even if they are in a bad relationship because when I’m in a bad relationship, I’d rather my girlfriend have enough respect to break up with me and not cheat.
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