It’s been several weeks since I’ve posted because I’ve been B-U-S-Y! As the New Year bolted in like lightning, I decided to do a short series of posts on relationships. It was back in September when I wanted to write a series about my journey toward finding “the one”. Since that time, I was thrown into a whirlwind of something beyond what I’ve ever hoped and dreamed.
There was a time when I wanted to ban everything love related in my life…to not be in a serious relationship because of all the sadness and heartache I would have to endure at the end of a breakup. Strength becomes a weakened trait. People go through life having several flings to avoid the difficulties of relationships all the time. BUT people falling in love and are with one another all the time as well. You reflect on what went wrong in the past and how you can learn from all those experiences. The demise all boiled down to one thing-incompatibility or was it?
I didn’t want to settle for less than what I knew I deserved. How do you know you deserve more? When you don’t get the things you want out of a relationship. Sometimes the simplest and smallest of things can mean so much. Like showing how much you appreciate her for doing something for you, letting her know how beautiful she is, and making her feel special especially during birthdays, anniversaries and her holidays. How many times can you ask someone you love to do certain things and they did not follow through? It becomes a vicious circle of arguments that never gets resolved until action is truly applied to rectify the problem. There has to be a compromise somewhere along the line.
How much are you willing to do to make that person happy? How long before you realize that you deserve more and that there is someone out there who is willing to love and accept you for who you are? Once you pass the threshold of a friendship into love and finally into a family.
I had told all this to my friend DJ and she said to me,”You won’t end up being like that because that’s not you.”
She was right. Sleeping around with anyone even if he/she was just a friend and not be in love with that person just did not jive with me. Sex with strangers is easy. You’d be surprised at how many people are willing to have one night stands and quickie romps anywhere. I’m not saying it’s wrong because for some people emotions and sex just don’t mix.
I’m not the type of person to stay in a relationship hoping it will get better once things have gone downhill. I’m not afraid to be single and don’t feel like I need a relationship to feel like a better person. The biggest risk one can take is not to be single, it’s to open your heart to someone knowing you are vulnerable to a broken heart.
