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“A tree must grow out of the seed in order for it to touch the sunlight” -Sapphire

Trying to think of how I felt when I came out to my family, my mind conjured those words above. I needed to grow and reach a certain point in my life where I felt it was time to tell my family about my sexuality and come into a new kind of light. My catalyst has been this absolutely amazing woman I met. I can’t imagine not having this woman be part of my family and my life. She is family.

The first time I was with a woman was 13 years ago. I was seventeen, fresh out of high school and just about to start college. Being with just anyone is not some rendezvous like shopping for clothes. Being with a partner is a commitment to a certain extent in sharing part of your life with that person.

There are many reasons why people choose to come out and other reasons why they choose not to. I learned to respect other people’s decisions and opinions even though they my conflict with my own. Sure it’ll be a much better world if everyone agreed with me but that’s not reality.

The beginning of Sept 2011, I wrote about an old high school friend of mine, Hales (names are not real), who tried to force me to come out to a close friend of mine:{My Journey} Being forced to come out. Every person has his or her baking time. Have respect.

Why did I choose to come out now? As I mentioned before, I met an amazing woman I would love to introduce my family to. I didn’t want to walk through the door saying, “Hi Mom & Dad! Meet my girlfriend and by the way I’m gay.” I wanted to slowly transition them into the realization that I am in a relationship with a woman.

I told my Sister-in-Law and oldest brother first. I didn’t know how to explain it so I just said,”I date women and men.” They both said as long as I’m happy then they will support me, just as expected. My family totally rock.

Last night I told Dad first. His reaction was not what I expected. He is not 100% for the idea and would prefer I settle down with a good man. He said he’s seen some people around the neighborhood like that and does not agree with it. I told him not to compare them to me because no two couples gay or heterosexual and their  relationships are the same. Relationships depend on the people.

Mom’s reaction when she came out to join Dad and me, “Okay…it’s a 2012. It’s a New Year.” LOL! She threw me for a loop because their reactions were opposite of what I expected.

Overall, I believe there is a time for everyone and there are going to be different reactions by people. Come out when you are ready and be prepared for questions and mixed responses. Sometimes there is a strength and confidence people need in order to stand up for their beliefs and to embrace themselves for who they truly are. Ultimately be happy with who you are.

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