Ever see couples that look so perfect and happy together and wonder what their secret was? How and when did the stars align for them to meet one another? I would get this warm fuzzy feeling seeing two old folks holding hands. I want my partner and I to be like lovey dovey old people-to be able to look into my partner’s eyes with such love, tenderness and affection years after we have wrinkles and can barely walk.
Having been in 4 long-term serious relationships (let’s not count the 8 mths I dated someone in 8th grade), I wondered what was it that went wrong? Was it me, them…us? Could it be that I was just with the wrong people who didn’t share the same feelings as me about life in general, our future, and our personalities were just too different? Attraction to people is easy but dating can be like going on a roller coaster ride then throwing up after because it wasn’t such a good idea. Except in relationships you always can decide when to get off.
In my past relationships, I basically took a step back and decided that I knew I could be treated better-that there was more to relationships than the overused “I’m sorry’s” and half effort attempts at resolving recycled issues. I wanted someone who enjoyed life as much as I did and wanted to work at being the best people we could for our family. Someone who shared the same interests, had passion and kindness.
I am by no means an expert in relationships but I do know there is someone out there for everyone, someone we are all compatible with. That is what led me to try a new fresh alternative means to dating.
I heard many good things about online dating from friends and how they met the people they are married to online. Compatiblepartners.com gave me the opportunity to look for a woman and be picky about the kind of woman I wanted. It is not limited to only women but for men seeking men as well. For $19.99 a month for 3 months (a locked in 3mth subscription you cannot get out of until it expires), I didn’t know what to expect. You are able to choose where in the world you would like to find women, her physical characteristics, habits etc… You complete a long questionnaire about the things you are interested in and about what you want and do not want in a partner. For example, you want someone who is patient, passionate, spontaneous, honest, affectionate, etc.. and what you don’t want is someone who is bad tempered, has a victim mentality, judgmental etc…
After completing the questionnaire, you create your profile page where you can upload photos, add more blurbs about yourself like Who Inspires You, The One Thing I Am Most Passionate About, and The Most Important Thing I Am Looking For In a Person. There is another profile questionaire you need to fill out that elaborates on your interests from TV shows, food, money views, sports, leisure, travel etc… That will help give you and a “match” something to talk about.
After setting up your profile, you will get several matches via email, browse their profiles and decide whether or not you would like to send an Ice Breaker (greeting like “Hi” or “Let’s Chat” or “Your Profile Made Me Smile”). The emails almost feel like spam because they do come very often.
My second email gave me another batch of potential friends or partner. I sent out two ice breakers on my first email and it was on the second email on the second day that I received her profile as a match. “She” stood out immediately for me-beautiful, sexy, great smile, and talented. I sent her a subtle ice breaker and she wanted to chat! I was ecstatic! About every other day we would write getting to know one another as “casual” friends first. Before I continue, I went about the unconventional way of talking to someone over CP because I went straight to emailing to talk. For me it seemed odd to go through a third party to talk and not just say hello first. It felt informal. The site recommends you don’t just jump into emailing one another right away. Instead, you are given another step with a series of questions (about 3-5) to ask the person before you converse. I guess this process helps to narrow down your choices because you choose 5 out of 10 or so questions to ask the other person like “What would you like to do on your evening night out”.
3 weeks and it developed into something more. 5 months later we met in L.A. and San Diego for 2 weeks over Valentine’s day. She was everything in her profile and more. We get along so well with our same interests, eerily similar backgrounds and views on life. Every day I am thankful for having such an amazing, sweet, wonderful, supportive, loving and beautiful person in my life. Even my 6-year-old daughter loves her. We are a family. I couldn’t be happier and more blessed.
There is one thing I noticed that CP did not have and that’s “sex”. I mean wouldn’t “sex” be just as important as knowing someone’s favorite sports team and favorite food? Thank goodness we both have the same appetite. Not that sex is the most important thing in a relationship but if people are looking for compatibility, sex should be part of the questionnaire.
9 months tomorrow and the hardest part about our relationship is being apart. We are having a long distance relationship and someday we’ll be living together. All I know is along with my daughter she is one of the best parts of my life. Every day we talk, communicate and see one another, …every day our love grows. She is visiting in October and I am over the moon with excitement!
I took a chance on CP and I’m so glad I did. We are one another’s perfect match.
Note: One of the women that began talking to me said she didn’t have much success finding someone after 6 months or so. Hopefully at least you can gain a few friends.